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Tuesday, November 12th, 2013

Subject:Self Incarcination
Time:10:54 pm.
So I have become what I have despised the most and I like it.
And no one knows    
Comments: Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Monday, May 19th, 2008

Subject:Blank and Still
Time:11:34 pm.
Mood: nervous.
I have no idea what to do anymore. Everthing I do and try to do falls apart. I can't figure it out. I feel as I am drowning and am only a few feet away from shore. I think I'm getting ready to flip out on someone. The more I workout, the more short fused I'm getting. I keep hearing from jess how mark is upsetting her and hearing my mom cry to me about people who use to be her friend, used my mom to get her friends and start rumors about her in negative ways. I'm seriously going to end up curling my tongue if I ever hear someone say anything negative in public around me and probably get arrested too... oh well. I'm tired of people in general. everybody that i've ever met, has never been 'pure' so to say. whether they done me wrong, hurt me, took something of mine, pissed me off to no end, ect. and whatever the case or being was. i can't hold it in and cannot rightfully be held 100% responsible for any actions that might occur when i do curl my tongue at someone.
Comments: Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Monday, May 5th, 2008

Subject: For 11 years...
Time:7:49 pm.
Mood: numb.

For 11 years, I have raised Chrissy when I got her from Chinatown in NYC when I ws in 7th grade along with Spike. She was no bigger than a half dollar coin. During those years, I felt like she was my kid and I was her parent as most would feel when raising anything from a baby. Chrissy will never get to feel like feeling. As of Saturday, 4pm, Chrissy Lasky was put to sleep to end her suffering. She became egg-bound and the eggs broke inside of her and caused bacteria to attack her insides. She is in a better place now, and is taken under the arms of my loved-ones who have passed away in the past years...

I will forever miss her and she will be forever in my heart. 
May we one day meet again my baby-girl!
I will alway love you Chrissy...

Comments: 2 Step Closers - Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007

Time:8:31 pm.

I've dun gon fuck'd upt.

Comments: 2 Step Closers - Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Tuesday, September 21st, 2004

Subject:A good weekend.
Time:9:43 am.
Mood: content.
My sister's b/f Glenn was suppose to have a "surprise" birthday party at his house. Well, Friday night was my sister's friend's b-day and during the week, Glenn's sister decided to have her bachlerette party saturday night. so Glen asked if Friday night could be my sister's and her friend's b-day party together. Something happened and the surprise to my sister was no longer a surprise and Glenn hates all of my sister's friends. So Saturday night I hung out with Chris. We played billards up on 46 in Clifton. I slept over his house. We were going to get drunk, but the place that doesn't card him was closed :( He had a bottle of wine, but that was his "panic stash" So I went to sleep saturday night and woke up Sunday morning. We went to the driving range. I went to turn right and take the back way and go underneath the railroad tracks. I start to turn right and slow down and there is a line of cars from the one lane going under the railraod tracks to rt.23 or pomton newark turnpike. So I slame into reverse and then into first and got out of there quickly and just hoped onto 46. what a task it was just to get there. we get there and I almost killed the guy standing to my left. By 3 feet I missed him. Then Chris tried to kill me. He sliced a ball and it bounced off both sides of the dividers and shot at my crotch. I gues she felt I need a set of 3 balls??? Had some fun though. Not as fun as the time when me and a co-worker on the way back to work from a service call stoped at a driving range lol. And I almost killed him. That was the best time I ever had. We couldn't stop laughing. Anyways... So we went back to Chris's house for a bit. Then at 5ish he went to his cousins and I went and visited Levechi. I took him for a little spin and dropped him of at home. I did a little driving around after that. I got bored. I went to my old street and drove past my old house. I miss the pool from that house a lot!!! I miss the house in general. But, I'm glad that my life has changed for what it did. So after driving around...I thought to myself, "I wonder if the Lesaski's are home." So I drove past and saw lights on inside and stopped in. They were surprised to see me. But Alex is away at college. But his college is about 20 minutes from me in Glassboro. I forget the name. His father describe it as the Montclair State of south jersey. They were trying real hard to get me to eat. But I didn't b/c it's I felt weird and b/c I was suppose to hang out with Cindy later and most likely go to a dinner. As I was leaving, Al's dad came to walk me outside and see my car. He loved it. I took him for a litte spin around the block and attracted a cop. I knew it was a pig b/c it kept turning with me on a u-turn back to their house. I got in the driveway and the pig past their house and started to wait a few houses up. Like I'm that dumb you FUCKING BACON HEAD!!! So I got out and had a cigarette with Mr. Lesaski and the pig face left. Anyways, I left shortly after and headed towards Caldwell and not through N. Caldwell b/c the pig would pull me over b/c he ran out of doughnuts and has nothing better to do!!! I hope this cop will one day read this b/c he sucks my big cock!!! There you go bacon boy!!! Let my shoot some white bacon fat into your mouth piggy. Anyways, so I called Cindy and headed towards her house. We went to play pool and then went to a dinner. I got egg and cheese on a bagel, chocolate milk, and a cup of coffee b/c I had to drive home later. We had a bunch of flashbacks of old times. Talked about Cheryl who was obsessed with me. I found out the Cheryl said to ppl that her and I were going out. EEEEk. I knew this girl was a big time liar, but SHIT!!! Now I hate her even more. Cindy says that Cheryl will never mound to anything. She's going to try to get into contact with a few other friends so I can see them a few times. Then I drove home. THE END
Comments: 5 Step Closers - Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Friday, September 17th, 2004

Subject:Last night
Time:6:09 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
Last night I had tech school. it was fun i suppose. I got to install my new lower control arms from umi performance. I feel the difference in traction with them. they say they'll give me an extra .1 sec on the 1/4 mile. i believe it. I don't even know how much $$$ I've spent in upgrades...
SLP - loud mouth exhuast: $350
SLP - Air Box: $100
SLP - Smooth Bellow $40
K&N Air Filter - $52
Hypertect 160 t-stat - $54
Umi Performance sub-frame connectors - $140
Umi Performance lower control arms - $85
Granatelli MAF - $290
Granatelli Diablo Preditor Tuner - $409
KYB AGX Adjustable Gas Shocks - $496
Brembo drilled rotors (front only) - $210
Plus a several hundred for shipping and installation. But I'll never have to worry about taking my car to a garage again :D
My next to DOs:
better cam, larger ratio rocker arms, headers (full exhaust), and 4.11 gears.
Comments: 2 Step Closers - Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Monday, August 23rd, 2004

Subject:Looking stupid...
Time:9:53 pm.
Mood:you pick one for me.
I hate seeing American muscle cars with clear (ricy) tail-lights!!! If I see one in the parking lot, don't put it pass me to not spit on your car. You want clear tail-lights... buy a honda or some other POS.
Comments: Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Sunday, July 18th, 2004

Time:8:22 pm.
Lately I've been skeptical
Silent when I would used to speak
Distance from all around me
Who witness me fail and become weak
Life is overwhelming
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
I'd love to be the one to disappoint you when I don't fall down

But you don't understand when I'm attempting to explain
Because you know it all and I guess things will never change
But you might need my hand when falling in your hole
Your disposition I'll remember when I'm letting go
You and me we're through
And rearranged

It seems that you're not satisfied
There's too much on your mind
So you leave and I can't believe all the bullshit that I find
Life is overwhelming
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
I'd love to be the one to disappoint you when I don't fall down

But you don't understand when I'm attempting to explain
Because you know it all and I guess things will never change
But you might need my hand when falling in your hole
Your disposition I'll remember when I'm letting go
You and me we're through
And rearranged


You make believe
That nothing is wrong until you're cryin'
You make believe
That life is so long until you're dyin'
You make believe
That nothing is wrong until you're cryin'
Cryin' on me
You make believe
That life is so long until you're dyin'
Dyin' on me!

You think that everybody's the same
I don't think that anybody's like you
(You ruin everything and you kept fuckin' with me until its over and I won't be
the same)
You think that everybody's the same
I don't think that anybody's like you
Be the same

Just think about it
You'll get it
Comments: Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Sunday, July 4th, 2004

Subject:My Heart For The Blck Figure by Cadaverous
Time:1:24 am.
Mood: numb.
The one thing I could give to you
Was shattered by you
I bleed for you
I need you
You're running through my head
I'm long gone out of your head
You're free as an eagle
My life is barely legal
Pain until the very last moment
And still lonely at that moment
The black figure has come to save me
The black figure is here to slay me
Who's left to pick up the pieces that was once me
Now I'm finally set free
You are no longer around
You'll never hear the sound
Of me and my voice
This was you're choice
I'm shaddered by you
I'm thrown away by you
Gone like the breeze
You'll never hear me sneeze
I accept you, black figure
I await you, black figure
Comments: Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Monday, May 10th, 2004

Time:12:33 am.
click here to take more tests like this at internet junk!
Who's your inner rockstar?
Comments: Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Friday, January 30th, 2004

Time:5:07 pm.
Mood:i don't know, something?.
Moving south has been a nice little change. I think it has helped Roxanne and I out. We're not around each other all the time and getting on each other's nerves like we use to. I feel that things are starting to go great between us. Living 100 miles away from her is tough so I come see her every Friday to Sunday, but sometimes I still until Monday evening. I love her so much. I am looking for to middle of Feb. very much. I hope it is as great as I'm hoping it to be. But they only way to find out is to wait and see. Lately I've been obsessed with the game Vice City. It's a great fucking game!!! I love shooting the hookers in it until I get a star and have to run away from pigs. It's the best game I've ever bought for PS2 so far. I also bought the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game too. I wish it was the same boards as the original games from Nintendo, but in 3D. That would be great game. They should do the same with the G.I. Joe and Batman too. I would buy those games the second they came out. I also got the Celebrity Deathmatch game. I am of course Manson in the game. It's great, but his voice isn't him. Bad imitation!!! I also perchased a Granatelli MAF sensor for my car. I ordered the cold air package because most of my mods for my Camaro have been air induction. I'm plaining on getting the Trans Am hood for my car. My new air lid makes a very noticeable difference in engine temperature, power, and gasmileage. Coming up north today my engine temp was at a steady 175ish and a saved about a gallon of gas the normally. And with my exhaust, you can hear how rich the air/gas ratio is because it doesn't just rumble, it slightly backfires when I rev it. The LS1 engine is the best engine on power and reliability I've ever had in any of my Camaros. I am on my third Camaro, but I still have my second one, I just can't drive it on the street, but I can't wait til spring to take it to Englishtown, but I need to get a trailer first so I can tow there with my Dakota R/T. My family is selling our 1996 z26. Finally, it's about time. I has been a great car to learn to drive with. It was my sister's first until she got her 2002 Trans Am. That was her and my first car. After I have the z26, I had an 89 IROC, then my 85 z28 with the 383 stroker(still have), the 99 Dakota(still have) to now my 2002 z28. Which will be my last Camaro.
Comments: 1 Step Closer - Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Friday, December 19th, 2003

Time:11:13 am.
My exhaust system came yesterday, but I have to wait until Monday to install it. So by New Years I'll have one fast 2002 Camaro. Let's tally up the horse power:
1.)Stock engine-310HP
2.)160 Thermostat-3 to 5HP
3.)K&N Air Filter-7 to 10HP
4.)SLP Loud Mouth Exhaust w/ 3.5 Inch tips-25HP
5.)SLP Air Lid-10HP
6.)Smooth Bellow-6HP
That's all I've boughten so far for my car.

Upcoming perchases:
1.)3inch y pipe-10HP
2.)SLP Radiator-HP gain unknown maybe a couple though
3.)SLP Ultra Z hood-20HP for my z28(not SS)
4.)SLP Headers-41HP
5.)Underdrive pulley-10HP
6.)LSX intake manifold-20HP
7.)SLP Ram Air kit-15HP
8.)Granatelli Mass Air Flow Sensor-15HP
9.)BBK 80MM Throttle Body-8 to 12HP
10.)Meziere Water Pump-8 to 12HP
11.)3:73 gear ratio-incrases acceration like a motherfucker!!!
12.)Hypertech Programmer3 -31HP

That should be about all. The very last item will be a complete LS6 engine borde over .030 into a 383 Stroker giving my 500plus HP plus everything else I've added before then :)
Comments: Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Saturday, June 21st, 2003

Time:11:26 pm.
Mood: disappointed.
Tonight I was with Roxanne after work. It seems that whenever I'm with her she's bored or something because she always falls asleep early or gets tired early when I'm around. She doesn't really get tired when she's around anyone else unless it's me. Tonight I thought would be good because I haven't really saw Roaxnne for two nights, but today when she got out of work at 5PM we went to her house, to the mall, and back to her house. Then at 10:30 she started to get sleepy so I left before she had to tell me to leave. So I bore the person I love. I'm not enough lately :(
Comments: 1 Step Closer - Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Friday, June 20th, 2003

Time:10:34 am.
Mood: exhausted.
Last night was my night to be with my friends, though there wasn't anyone around really. Around 5 or 6PM I was with Joe Grinnelli, that's right... Mr. NAG himself. I wanted to test the new camaro on a 1/4 mile test. So we had drove around for a half an hour to find a good street. Then it hit me, how about the industrial street behind King's and Sears...DUH. So we went there and measured 1/4 roughly with my odometer. Actually, I just gave it .3 miles instead of the .25 1/4 distance and I ran a 11.2 or .3 and that was very rough b/c it was with a watch with a second hand on it, I had another person in the car...extra 130lbs. and it was longer than a 1/4 mile. So my car can be a 10 second car with a small adjustment of the carb and fixing the gap on the spark plugs. Then I was around Chris, didn't do much but sit around. Everyone thought I was smoking or did allready, but I didn't. I had no intensions on doing so. I thought I would sleep over, but Chris didn't feel like having anyone sleep over unless it was a dire need to..so I drove to Gary's house, but I parked across the street at the park's parking lot. By the time I went back to my car, there were two cop cars waiting around wondering who and why there was a car sitting there. I told them why and I was on my marry way back home, so I went home at 2 something in the morning. It was pretty much a boring night, but I'm still pretty tired.
Comments: Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2003

Time:9:48 am.
Mood: pissed off.
My school is ridiculous. I just got assigned a ISS for breaking a glass bottle in the locker room. That's extremely messed up. Because it's the end of the year and they have nothing else better to do. I want to try to exchange it for a Saturday detention because I still have work in my classes, though I only have two actual classes, but we're watching a movie in both of them. So if I miss those classes, I'm fucked. Plus, I'd rather spend 3 hours in a classroom on a Saturday then a whole day in one classroom and not to be able to do Jack-shit. Goddamn west essex high school!!! I'm out of a car until God knows when because it doesn't go to the shop til Thursday because of a battery or alt. problem. I think it's the alt.
Comments: 1 Step Closer - Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Monday, May 26th, 2003

Time:10:05 am.
Mood: annoyed.
Yesterday my fire alarm decided to go off for no particular reason. So Roxanne and I got back to my house with a bunch of cops and fire-fighters waiting for me. It took a while for me to get the alarm off, but I did. It was ear-pieceing because it was alarming for so long. So I stayed with Roxanne that night and skin n' bones boy called. I hate how he calls her so late. I hate how guys carry around condoms and have sex with more than a couple of people. I hope you all get aids or some STD that isn't cureable! ANd if that walking STD ever calls Roxanne late again, I don't know. I can't think up of any clever things, but I'll figure out something special for skin n' bones boy.
Comments: Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Monday, May 19th, 2003

Time:11:00 am.
Mood: accomplished.
Last Thursday was the first day I got to see what kind of car Brian Toth build me. A 2003 Corvette pulled up along aside me doing just after the light turned green and exchanged a few words with me. So I exchanged a few back and the Vette started to rev its engine. He didn't know what he was getting himself into. He started to speed up as well as I did. The Vette gave up after 60 mph margin. I felt bad for the Vette because I love them so much. At the next light, after the Vette gave up, a 2002 or 03 mercedes SL500 was giving me looks, of course you knew he thought his 'precious' import could show up my supped up Camaro, but not in this life time. I was car lengths in front of him before he could even take off:) It felt good to embarass a Corvette, but it felt even greater to embarass a import:) This is America assholes, my car rules the road bitches! Fuck you honda, fuck you, toyota(toy cars hahaha), fuck you VW, fuck you Volvo, fuck you niessan, fuck you bmw, and fuck you mercedes! I think that's all. Oh wait, fuck you lexus! This is America, buy American cars. Put money back into our society, not another countries where they are benefiting from us instead of yourself. Tonight Roxanne may sleep over. It would be real nice if she does. I enjoy her company very much. I get a better sleep when we're not in separate homes. I love you Roxanne!
Comments: Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Wednesday, May 14th, 2003

Time:10:55 am.
Mood: disappointed.
Yesterday I was lucky to have enough money to get Manson's new cd. I always get his cds the day it comes out, if not before the release date. It's a tradition that I've done since Portrait Of An American Family. I didn't get to listen to the entire album yet, but I like what I hear so far. I have never heard a Manson song that I didn't like, unless it was a bootleg that sounded like shit because of it being static and all. But all 'n' all, I will not give Tim Skold a chance. He isn't Twiggy and means shit to me. Brian and Jeordie made Marilyn Manson. It isn't Marilyn Manson without Jordie. He will never be able to be replaced by anyone in this world. If Skold ever says he's a perfect or good replacement for Jeordie, then someone needs to beat the living shit out of that guy. I don't think he belongs in Marilyn Manson. Fuck you tim skold. Your name doesn't even deserve to be capitalized!!! Jordie's leaving will leave a big gap, a hard position to fill since him and Brian made the music together. But times have changed and so has people. We have to respect people's wishes. Good luck Jeordie in whatever it is that you decide to do with the rest of your life. I support you 100 and 10%!!! I just hope that my other band (dope) doesn't change members again. Roxanne and I will be extremely pissed!!! I love you Roxanne...!!!
Comments: 1 Step Closer - Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Tuesday, May 13th, 2003

Time:11:17 am.
Mood: sleepy.
Last night was nice. Roxanne stayed at my house and we had a nice sleep. I'm able to sleep better and in peace when she's around. I wish she would stay over more often. Plus it is easier for me in the morning. she's already with me and i don't have to go and pick her up in the morning traffic. it saves me gas and time. i put her in a bad mood earlier, so my goal for today is to make her happy. i need to find a job. i don't want to work for in retail again. i hate that shit, unless it is at an auto parts store. then i'd actually want to go to work. but i'd like to work at a garage, learn some more shit about cars. that way i can keep up good mainenance on my new camaro. It sounds a million times better than my sister's 2002 ws6 trans am and is a lot faster too. I'm going to put new carpeting down in it b/c Roxanne doesn't like the smell. I wanted to change the color anyways, but this gives me a better reason to now. So it'll go from red to black. I've go to get an extra spare wheel at the junk yard for a spare tire, but i have to see if i'm buying new wheels or not. but whatever.
I love you Roxanne!
Comments: 1 Step Closer - Put Me Out Of My Misery....

Monday, May 12th, 2003

Time:11:21 am.
Mood: annoyed.
Prom weekend wasn't as enjoyable as i hoped it would be. Friday night was okay, but saturday and didn't feel to good. i guess the salty air wasn't that nice to me. i made it even less enjoyable for Roxanne. i didn't pack a blanket and i feel asleep early saturday. i probably should have stayed home. Roxanne did make plans to go down without telling me, maybe it should have stayed that way. well, it's over and done with and i wasted over $200. i'm sorry Roxanne for a bad time. I love you though.
Comments: 1 Step Closer - Put Me Out Of My Misery....

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